THE INNER CIRCLE MISSIVES: CARDINAL RULES FOR SHALLOW SISTERS

THE INNER CIRCLE MISSIVES: CARDINAL RULES FOR SHALLOW SISTERS: "THE SHALLOW SISTER GUIDE CARDINAL RULES OF ALL SHALLOW SISTERS 1. Emotionally and mentally become a man. 2. ..."

ANOTHER GIRLIE FUED

Why are there so many girlie feuds in the city?  The journalist with the big nose has stirred up some interesting shit.  Turns out she was 'chatting innocently' through cyber space with her very close friend's new lover.  The Close friend was none to happy about it and the journalist with the big nose told her she was paranoid and self absorbed.  Interestingly everyone else calls the journalist with the big nose this!  Like many in that profession they strike out at anyone who could have a different view of something and they feel they have a right to disentangle stories even when their friend's ask them not too.  So it turns out that the journalist with the big nose continued to spit words of distance and discourse to the close friend who finally decided that having a friend like her was not a good thing and spat back.  Now the journalist not only, apparently has a big nose but she also has two faces, she is reputed to have sent the Close friend flowers on her birthday and then simultaneously sent emails to all their mutual friends, including some who weren't to say The Close Friend was a bitch and not to be trusted.  Many are thinking she was actually manifesting herself with those words.

AUSTIRITY MEASURES – DUTCH COMMUNITY

The Netherlands consulates are one of the few in Istanbul that know how to throw a party.  They work to link the community to local businesses by extending invitations once a month to a select group of people.  Only good things are ever said about their hospitality and the grateful that go get a lot of networking done, not to mention drinking.

However, things are set to change.  Rumor has it the business networking is at an end and just to show this is the case the Consulate’s recent Queen Day Celebration was a taste of things to come, or rather a taste of things that didn’t come.

The Dutch Queen’s official birthday is always celebrated well by the consulate.  Over the years they’ve had bands, marquis, tulips in every corner and traditional drink and finger food.  It’s an event the Dutch community really looks forward to but this year things have changed. 

The Consulate remained only open to a very select few.   The rest of the minions were designated to a place in Tarabya where earlier they had been having a children’s party for their community. 

Invitations were also extended to some locals who must have been horrified at what was advertised as being ‘a cocktail’.  Drinks were wine or beer and the only  finger food to make it to the tables was some very bad plastic tasting cheese cut into squares.  Not a napkin, not a toothpick, not a nut in sight.  There were tulips though and they did go for orange ones just to remind the community that they are decedents of the great William the Orange.  I know things are bad but I had no idea they were this bad.  Or perhaps the Consular General did not wish to spend his expense allowance on this event.  The fact that he addressed the throng or disappointed, makes me wonder if he thought that they wouldn’t notice the cutbacks.    Hard not to since it has become the laughing stock of the city.  Let’s hope the Queen doesn’t hear of it, she might be hurt that her people in Istanbul were fobbed off with a glass of wine and a cheese chunk.

THE BRITISH CONSULATE ROYAL WEDDING PARTY

The British Consulate throws one of its rare parties to its citizens in honor of the royal wedding of William and Kate.  Now, I don’t like to be unkind (much) but one of the things the British Consulate is not famed for is parties, at least not those that aren’t to do with diplomats.  So given any opportunity, the British community surged to be invited to the event.  Interestingly this was not an open invite to all Brits residing in Istanbul but you had to put your name forward and have it picked out of a hat.  So, the lucky 200 or so got to swagger around the ballroom, which was too brightly lit.  OK they have huge chandeliers and OK it wouldn’t look good unless they were lit, but methinks a lower wattage bulb might have worked better given the glamour of the occasion.  

Brits are not renowned minglers.  They are uptight and unconfident in crowds of people they don’t know so there were a lot of tight groups even at the smokers’ section on the balcony.  Smokers usually end up talking to other smokers, having a common evil bond.  Addicts seek out addicts, as they say, not in this case.

However, the service was good.  The canapés very tasty and the champagne (ok it was sparkling wine but who’s comparing) was good with that great British touch of diced strawberries thrown in with the wine.  Two side rooms had been set up with huge plasma TV sets to show, in one room, the history of royal weddings and in the other the event that had taken place that afternoon.  Sadly I have to say that both rooms were packed with Brits and their spouses watching TV rather than interacting with others and each other.

Some lovely outfits were on show, naturally I mean female attire.  A lot had gone to a great deal of trouble to look great for the evening and indeed they did.  Women sparkled and men looked stylish.  Thankfully no one wore hats.  There was already way too many at the ceremony but then I’m told the British don’t don hats as evening attire. 

At around 10 p.m. the party wound down.  A few stragglers hung back and were invited down to the British Consulate’s Clubhouse for drinks.  What is the clubhouse?  Apparently a place where the staff of the consulate and their friends can come to and unwind on a Friday evening.  Drinks are tax-free and the bar is non-profit so it’s affordable.  The 20 or so that went to the bar stayed till around 2 a.m. hitting back shots of something called Slippery Nipples.  Don’t ask me what that is.  I don’t know.  I wasn’t there and don’t believe I would be partial to a slippery nipple.  I am told nothing terribly exciting happened at the Clubhouse apart from everyone having a good time and even some interaction-taking place between the piss heads. 

All in all, well done British Consulate for putting on a very nice event, which beautifully topped off the wonderful wedding of their one-day-to-be sovereign

LAUNCH OF NEW PERFUME - DAISY

Marc Jacobs new fragrance (at least to Turkey) had a relaunch just before Easter.  They choose a swanky hotel Les Ottomans near Bebek for it.  A lot of faces in gorgeous dresses with very small bodies wafted around drinking Green Martinis and refusing the mouthwatering canapes going around.  The Marketing department had done well with the setting, well with the crowd and well with what was on offer.  And the frangrences isn't half bad either.  Maybe not quite for me but on others I thought it was something you might pick up at duty free.  I should have left earlier as several martini's and pink stilettos do not work well.  I am so glad no one saw me trip down the stairs when I went to visit the toilet.  No damage done other than the slit of my dress ripped open another 2 inches.

DUTCH COMMUNITY - NEW VENUE

The Dutch Community have a new venue for something they call ‘their drinkie’s’, at least translated into dutch it doesn’t sound that weird.  The new bar off Istiklal right beside one of the entrances to The Majesty Cinema.  The atmosphere is a lot more jovial.  Could be something to do with the smaller size or the fact that someone Dutch is running the bar on the one day a year the Dutch group meet up.  Could also be something to do with Amstel beer being on offer.  You don’t find that anywhere easily in the city, at least not yet.  Not sure if you need to be Dutch to join their fun, maybe you need to know someone Dutch, or speak it or like tulips or something.  They usually meet up on the last Friday of every month.  Maybe you might like to gate crash, look out for some tall people hanging around the doorway smoking and you’ll know you’ve found your way.

EXPAT ONLY EVENTS - InterNations

Expat Only events - INTERNATIONS

At the end of April InterNations was compelled to insist upon an Expat’s only meeting.  The Turkish contingent to the group was up in arms.  Heated words flew.  Some even threatened to resign.  Other’s quoted InterNations Guidelines.  The forum was abuzz with accusations, recriminations, defenses and general annoyances.  What did emerge was a meeting that consisted of over 120 expats who had either only gone to one or two InterNations events (put off by the ratios of local to expats) or had never joined an InterNations event until then.  The atmosphere was relaxed and fun.  A great deal of networking and friendships were made that night.  I’ve hard that InterNations plan to host another such even but perhaps only once every 2 or 3 months.  It’s not enough say the cry of all those expats who came and enjoyed themselves including all those expats who couldn’t make that event but are begging for another.  No doubt the locals who were excluded are still smarting from the experience.

At the end of May InterNations plans to host another of their usual event.  Already the guest list is past its hundred mark with locals signed in at 70/30.  No wonder expats are boycotting.