RAPTURING PARTIES - 2

The supposed night of the Rapture saw Istanbul host two parties that I heard of.  Both equally as riotess and ending with most participants lying face down, rather than being lifted heavenwards.  What took place?  Well the first party opened at this new bar in Cihangir, only I can't name it because they haven't thought of a name yet.  About 40 people arrived in various states of inebriation (obviously having thought to begin a different kind of rapture).  Talk of why there hadn't been a rapture was soon overtaken with 'what cocktail shall we drink?'

Most people behaved themselves as you would not expect in a rapture party but one lovely young girl was chastised for flirting with other women's men.  I suspect drink has a lot to answer for that, but one has to remember it was not the men who were complaining, so perhaps they might also need to be chastised for allowing themselves to be flattered by another's attention.  Hey, for me it works either way.  The more interesting things happen the more I have to write about.

The second party took place at a pub off Istiklal.  It's the usual haunt for expats and others who go there for such intellectual stuff as drinking, meeting, pub quizzes and music.  It was a more low key event only because there were more english among the crowd.  The english don't do too much exhibiting unless they are heavily plied with drink.  In this case the worst that happened is that one lady was seen emptying out all her drink into a toilet (which couldn't have been pleasant for her too).  Another blonde with an interesting streak of pink in her hair was seen disappearing into the night with a recently single Englishman.  His ex was, also at the bar, stormed off soon after.  Interestingly it was her that broke off the relationship so you do wonder why she might be annoyed that he had moved on.  Ah women, if we don't want someone we still don't want anyone else to want them.

Now apart from hearing others say things like 'At least the Rapture had been set for a Saturday night', I am left wondering if the next set Rapture date will also be a Saturday night at which case I'm sure we will see several more parties around the city and may even see some fancy dress.  I am told only one person donned fancy dress (not that any of the parties had been advertised as such), she came as an angel.  Presumably her rapture had taken place and...well.... earth was just that tad more interesting than sharing 'one god' with millions.

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‘RAPTURE’.

What in God’s name is going on in some people’s heads?  Followers of another loony based cult lead by Harold Camping are expecting the world to end tomorrow (21^st May) at noon.  Is this CET, GMT or just on Harold Camping’s time?

Apart from the amusing joviality this has triggered it is just plain lunacy. 

Thankfully most of the world is not affected by this particular act of craziness but there are way too many who are and their belief is irritating at best and destroying at worst.  I can’t imagine what some children are thinking and fearing, having heard the end is nigh. 

Rapture:  I intend to be raptured but by someone more tangible than a god figure created from another warped mind.  My raptures are almost daily and often involve someone quite appealing but never with the fear of the end of the world.

What now?  We wait to prove again that H.Camping has got it wrong (we got through 1994, which according to him we wouldn’t).  I suspect when the world keeps turning and the Internet keeps working he will come up with another date that will send another frenzy through the mad masses. 

For now we can contend with another excuse for a party.  I have heard Rapture Parties are a-foot in the city of Istanbul.  Exactly what will be required other than drink and debauchery I cannot imagine?  Some bright sparks have set up facebook pages for the Rapture.  Including a Post Rapture looting party.  Best comment from that one was ‘I am white therefore I will ‘find’, not ‘loot’.’  For those that remember Katrina, it was racially pointed out that ‘white folk – find’ and ‘black folk – loot’.

Since no one knows what time the rapture really begins in Istanbul everyone is coming up with differing times for the popping of the champagne and the face turned skywards.  Midnight is always a good party hiatus to go for I’d say.  Anyway I’m off to get me-self an ipad if everything goes belly up!

WILL CIHANGIR BISTRO’S EVER LEARN?

Oh the complaints are coming in thick and fast from the expat crowd and even the non-expat crowd regarding all the drinking holes in Cihangir.  Why are they treating their customers like tourists?  Meaning Tourists come and go and you don’t have to woo regular customers.  Perhaps the owners or staff originates from Sultan Ahmet or thereabouts. 

I am going to name these places, as everyone is sick and tired of mistakes made on bills.  Deliberate?  Who is to know but there always seems to be a problem and when it’s pointed out the serving staff become belligerent and narked.  Isn’t the customer always right?  Certainly is if you are a Cihangir resident and spend money in local businesses.

Zenka.  Screwed up royally.  So many love the place.  So many love the atmosphere.  So many love the food and think the prices of drinks (compared to elsewhere) reasonable.  So this is a frequented place.  Everyone tells others about it.  Everyone wants it to succeed because they don’t want it to be a here today gone tomorrow (like so many small business (although Zenka is really part of a much larger group and therefore should know better)). A group were there there for 1 hour was overcharged by 3 glasses of wine.  Since everyone was pretty sober it was easy to keep count of what had been drunk.  What was even more outrageous was when they pointed this out the waiter was rude (you are wrong) and dismissive.  Perhaps he would have been had the customers been men.  So, not only is Zenka unable to count they are sexist.  It took a lot of fracas and foray to put it right.  This group has vowed to cross Zenka off their list, as have others who have also been stung.   Zenka please put your computers, your staff, your accounting or whatever right so I can work hard to bring those people back to you.

Charlotte.  How did you screw up Charlotte?  The Manager is well liked and  actually has managerial skills unlike most of the bistro/bars that open up around Cihangir.  when there is a mistake made he is extremely apologetic but the staff keep screwing up, plus the service sucks but then it’s a new bistro so that is sometimes excusable in the early stages.  However, the kitchen being downstairs far from the tables make it an obstacle course for the waiters to get past the drinkers at the bar.  Bad designing guys.  But everyone loves the hot nuts. Charlottes also has been overcharging.  2 bottles of wine instead of 2 glasses.  How do you fathom that one?  So the busy crowd that made you an instant success are beginning to go elsewhere. 

21.  Another screw up.  Extra glasses of wine and even one was charged for 22 glasses (now that is seriously questionable), and worse yet charging for nuts.  Not even nice nuts.  Recently they charged not only the cost of a glass of wine but another 3tl for the soda spritzer.  The Spritzer drinker no longer comes.  Why?  It makes your wine by the glass as expensive as a cocktail.  Again bills arrive with extra drinks and even extra plates of food.  OK we accept this sometimes happens but it’s happening way too much in all these above places.  Plus we are left with an argument when we try to sort out the error.  Oh and they've put up their wine prices which just seems greedy since wine is now cheaper than it has ever been.  

Susam Cafe has not escaped either or rather several punters have.  They have not been back since last summer when they sat drinking cocktails and were charged for 5 extra.  When this was pointed out on the hand written bill  (an extra 120tl on the tab) it was changed but and a shrug was given in the form of a non apology.

So far you three have been slighted.  Of course others have too but you three have been slighted on several occasions so buck up and get it right because you are losing these valuable customers who are now returning to Khavedan where there is rarely a mistake and if there is the staff are polite about it.  

THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT

Exactly what Funshion was supposed to be about only few really know.  The man of dubious origins gathered up all this skills at the ridiculous and came up with a party where you had to come in designer gear or in designer gear rip offs.  Now, I was wondering this (and here forgive me as I go off on a tangent) but if it is illegal to duplicate copyright material is it also illegal to buy it and display it?

The man of dubious origins may have to have a new name, such as ‘the man of dubious botox.’  It’s got to the point where his skin is stretched so tightly across his face I’m afraid it might snap and ping back into it’s original position. The stretching of it worries me as it may tear in places like finely woven silk stretched on a frame too small.

But then again we might even have better name i.e. ‘the man of dubious clothing.’  I would like to say that what he wore that evening has something to do with the frivolity of the night but alas no, the checked tablecloth of a waistcoat is probably Prada (or fake Prada) and the leather shorts are probably…well nobodies.  I mean is there a designer out there that would have come up with that?  OK maybe Vivian Westwood but even they were too kooky for her.

However, this article is not just about what the ‘man with dubious origins, botox and tailoring’, but about a Civil Servant.  A gorgeous one at that.  So gorgeous he has appeared in several magazines in the city displaying his chicness.  Not only is this man so chic he is also straight.  You don’t often find, in this world, a man who can dress and is not gay.  Now the worrying part  is that His Cheeky Civil Chicness was seen in the event that had all the chicness of Punk Rock.  This chic civil servant had the good manners to at least come dressed well (to be honest I don’t think he knows how to do bad taste, except in event choices). 

So laid naked in his bad choice there is at least a hope few will remember he attended and he now has the choice of having his photos deleted from the event so he can continue to be Istanbul’s Chicest, Cheekest,  Civil Servant.

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ANOTHER GIRLIE FUED

Why are there so many girlie feuds in the city?  The journalist with the big nose has stirred up some interesting shit.  Turns out she was 'chatting innocently' through cyber space with her very close friend's new lover.  The Close friend was none to happy about it and the journalist with the big nose told her she was paranoid and self absorbed.  Interestingly everyone else calls the journalist with the big nose this!  Like many in that profession they strike out at anyone who could have a different view of something and they feel they have a right to disentangle stories even when their friend's ask them not too.  So it turns out that the journalist with the big nose continued to spit words of distance and discourse to the close friend who finally decided that having a friend like her was not a good thing and spat back.  Now the journalist not only, apparently has a big nose but she also has two faces, she is reputed to have sent the Close friend flowers on her birthday and then simultaneously sent emails to all their mutual friends, including some who weren't to say The Close Friend was a bitch and not to be trusted.  Many are thinking she was actually manifesting herself with those words.

AUSTIRITY MEASURES – DUTCH COMMUNITY

The Netherlands consulates are one of the few in Istanbul that know how to throw a party.  They work to link the community to local businesses by extending invitations once a month to a select group of people.  Only good things are ever said about their hospitality and the grateful that go get a lot of networking done, not to mention drinking.

However, things are set to change.  Rumor has it the business networking is at an end and just to show this is the case the Consulate’s recent Queen Day Celebration was a taste of things to come, or rather a taste of things that didn’t come.

The Dutch Queen’s official birthday is always celebrated well by the consulate.  Over the years they’ve had bands, marquis, tulips in every corner and traditional drink and finger food.  It’s an event the Dutch community really looks forward to but this year things have changed. 

The Consulate remained only open to a very select few.   The rest of the minions were designated to a place in Tarabya where earlier they had been having a children’s party for their community. 

Invitations were also extended to some locals who must have been horrified at what was advertised as being ‘a cocktail’.  Drinks were wine or beer and the only  finger food to make it to the tables was some very bad plastic tasting cheese cut into squares.  Not a napkin, not a toothpick, not a nut in sight.  There were tulips though and they did go for orange ones just to remind the community that they are decedents of the great William the Orange.  I know things are bad but I had no idea they were this bad.  Or perhaps the Consular General did not wish to spend his expense allowance on this event.  The fact that he addressed the throng or disappointed, makes me wonder if he thought that they wouldn’t notice the cutbacks.    Hard not to since it has become the laughing stock of the city.  Let’s hope the Queen doesn’t hear of it, she might be hurt that her people in Istanbul were fobbed off with a glass of wine and a cheese chunk.

THE BRITISH CONSULATE ROYAL WEDDING PARTY

The British Consulate throws one of its rare parties to its citizens in honor of the royal wedding of William and Kate.  Now, I don’t like to be unkind (much) but one of the things the British Consulate is not famed for is parties, at least not those that aren’t to do with diplomats.  So given any opportunity, the British community surged to be invited to the event.  Interestingly this was not an open invite to all Brits residing in Istanbul but you had to put your name forward and have it picked out of a hat.  So, the lucky 200 or so got to swagger around the ballroom, which was too brightly lit.  OK they have huge chandeliers and OK it wouldn’t look good unless they were lit, but methinks a lower wattage bulb might have worked better given the glamour of the occasion.  

Brits are not renowned minglers.  They are uptight and unconfident in crowds of people they don’t know so there were a lot of tight groups even at the smokers’ section on the balcony.  Smokers usually end up talking to other smokers, having a common evil bond.  Addicts seek out addicts, as they say, not in this case.

However, the service was good.  The canapés very tasty and the champagne (ok it was sparkling wine but who’s comparing) was good with that great British touch of diced strawberries thrown in with the wine.  Two side rooms had been set up with huge plasma TV sets to show, in one room, the history of royal weddings and in the other the event that had taken place that afternoon.  Sadly I have to say that both rooms were packed with Brits and their spouses watching TV rather than interacting with others and each other.

Some lovely outfits were on show, naturally I mean female attire.  A lot had gone to a great deal of trouble to look great for the evening and indeed they did.  Women sparkled and men looked stylish.  Thankfully no one wore hats.  There was already way too many at the ceremony but then I’m told the British don’t don hats as evening attire. 

At around 10 p.m. the party wound down.  A few stragglers hung back and were invited down to the British Consulate’s Clubhouse for drinks.  What is the clubhouse?  Apparently a place where the staff of the consulate and their friends can come to and unwind on a Friday evening.  Drinks are tax-free and the bar is non-profit so it’s affordable.  The 20 or so that went to the bar stayed till around 2 a.m. hitting back shots of something called Slippery Nipples.  Don’t ask me what that is.  I don’t know.  I wasn’t there and don’t believe I would be partial to a slippery nipple.  I am told nothing terribly exciting happened at the Clubhouse apart from everyone having a good time and even some interaction-taking place between the piss heads. 

All in all, well done British Consulate for putting on a very nice event, which beautifully topped off the wonderful wedding of their one-day-to-be sovereign

LAUNCH OF NEW PERFUME - DAISY

Marc Jacobs new fragrance (at least to Turkey) had a relaunch just before Easter.  They choose a swanky hotel Les Ottomans near Bebek for it.  A lot of faces in gorgeous dresses with very small bodies wafted around drinking Green Martinis and refusing the mouthwatering canapes going around.  The Marketing department had done well with the setting, well with the crowd and well with what was on offer.  And the frangrences isn't half bad either.  Maybe not quite for me but on others I thought it was something you might pick up at duty free.  I should have left earlier as several martini's and pink stilettos do not work well.  I am so glad no one saw me trip down the stairs when I went to visit the toilet.  No damage done other than the slit of my dress ripped open another 2 inches.

DUTCH COMMUNITY - NEW VENUE

The Dutch Community have a new venue for something they call ‘their drinkie’s’, at least translated into dutch it doesn’t sound that weird.  The new bar off Istiklal right beside one of the entrances to The Majesty Cinema.  The atmosphere is a lot more jovial.  Could be something to do with the smaller size or the fact that someone Dutch is running the bar on the one day a year the Dutch group meet up.  Could also be something to do with Amstel beer being on offer.  You don’t find that anywhere easily in the city, at least not yet.  Not sure if you need to be Dutch to join their fun, maybe you need to know someone Dutch, or speak it or like tulips or something.  They usually meet up on the last Friday of every month.  Maybe you might like to gate crash, look out for some tall people hanging around the doorway smoking and you’ll know you’ve found your way.

EXPAT ONLY EVENTS - InterNations

Expat Only events - INTERNATIONS

At the end of April InterNations was compelled to insist upon an Expat’s only meeting.  The Turkish contingent to the group was up in arms.  Heated words flew.  Some even threatened to resign.  Other’s quoted InterNations Guidelines.  The forum was abuzz with accusations, recriminations, defenses and general annoyances.  What did emerge was a meeting that consisted of over 120 expats who had either only gone to one or two InterNations events (put off by the ratios of local to expats) or had never joined an InterNations event until then.  The atmosphere was relaxed and fun.  A great deal of networking and friendships were made that night.  I’ve hard that InterNations plan to host another such even but perhaps only once every 2 or 3 months.  It’s not enough say the cry of all those expats who came and enjoyed themselves including all those expats who couldn’t make that event but are begging for another.  No doubt the locals who were excluded are still smarting from the experience.

At the end of May InterNations plans to host another of their usual event.  Already the guest list is past its hundred mark with locals signed in at 70/30.  No wonder expats are boycotting.

APRIL IN INTERNATIONS

Could the famed expat (mostly locals) site be caving in in Istanbul?  Rumor has it it is hanging on by a thread.  Cause?  A division.  In case you didn't know InterNations is a world wide site, not limited to Istanbul.  A great concept that began in Munich and is now all over the world.  A place for expats to get together and mingle with a few locals thrown in.  However, the membership in Istanbul has grown out of all proportions.  The ratio of expats to locals is about 20 to 1 (on a good night).  Events that only 2 years ago saw 40 expats join are now crammed with 300, with about 20 being expats.  The spoken language at these (now club events, as opposed to drinks on a terrace) is no longer English but Turkish.  Turkish girls have come to find themselves a good catch (preferably foreign).  Turkish men have come to find themselves a night of sex.  No longer is it a social event where everyone chats (with no hidden agendas) to each other but either a place where friends come and meet each other or where vigorous hunting is abound.  Expats have for sometime been boycotting the events because they don't wish to be hunted neither are they there to hunt.  Things have become so bad that the Ambassadors have had to come up with an event known as EXPAT ONLY.  The fact that something like 150 expats signed up for it is testament to the desperate need for expats to get together with their own kind and not have to be with the locals.  Discriminatory?  Maybe.  The InterNations forum has been rife with views from both sides.  Expats beg to be allowed to mix with their own kind for reasons above and also because they can mix with locals at any bar and club in the city when at last there was an organization just for them to go to only to find that the Locals have infiltrated on mass. 

Further news is that there is also a divide between the two Ambassadors.  A local and an expat.  It's hardly surprising but what is is that the local Ambassador continues to shun what the expats are desperate for which is some respite from the locals and mainly the unsocial locals who appear only interested in 'your job' or 'your nationality'.  The local Ambassador invites locals indiscriminately for whatever ultera motive there is, ignoring the cries of 'we've got too many locals already'.  InterNations, some time ago set up a request that locals be limited and that it would be more appropriate if only expats were invited to the group until some balance was achieved.  But when one of the Ambassadors is shunning this rule there is little that can be done.  The expat Ambassador is near to tears and ready to abandon the crown and then what?  InterNations becomes no longer InterNations in Istanbul but Locals in Istanbul as I'm sure someone with some brains and knowhow will set up a site to take the desperate expats looking to jump ship with a requirement of 'foreign passport holders only'.

THE LAST OF THE MARCH GOSSIP

23rd March 2011

18th March 2011

It's coming in thick and fast.  So much more happened over the weekend that I'm limited as to what I've already told you so as not to overload this site with too much but very interesting gossip.  It seems that the 'girlie feud' does have a fourth corner in what we earlier thought was a triangle.  Is it two against two?  Seems to be.  The gal/guy of questionable origin is partnering the proxy in his social network and in bed.  Rumor has it the proxy is hung like a demon!  Let's hope the gal/guy can take it!  The Social Media group that threw out the gal/guy won't be letting him back in under any circumstances.  There appears to be more than just this girlie feud.  I will endeavor to find out.  The gal/guy is desperate to get back into the social media group as he has had a lot of freebie dinners and drinks through being able to organize events on their site and take a group from there to a venue hungry for advertising at the cost of feeding the gal/guy.  The gal/guy has tried to negotiate with the blondes on how to solve this girlie feud but no definite moves have been made in that direction.

There is a guy who plays music in this city in a foreign named bar around the Taksim/Galatasaray area.  He is a part of a band during the night and to say what he does during the day will make it way too obvious as to who he is.  An ex has told me that he is hung like a baboon.  Since he has gotten married since that news erupted I don't suppose any other woman will find out if that is indeed true.  But I have to say that you wouldn't know it to look at him!

The Social Media Group had their monthly get together.  A lot happened as usual when alcohol is involved and music from Village People.  Everyone was seen dancing, even those that couldn't or never.  The black lady that kissed the girl from the other night was seen laughing and heavily flirting with a man.  Way too confusing for me! Is she gay? Straight? Bi? or drunk?  No one, other than her from the Burlesque night was there so no one could further comment on it.  One lady lost her panties.  How?  I have no idea and neither does she.  According to her she went to the toilet and a little later noted a draft.  Had she left them in the toilet?  She remembers nothing!

The Italian Culture Centre held another dinner party during the week.  It's a bit of a hit and miss affair.  Some are good and sadly a lot are not.  They have guest cooks who create a menu from a country of their origin and the last one was Morocco.  Usually there are a lot of people to these events but I fear the numbers are dwindling due to the hit and miss affair of the food and not so much the country of choice.  The food was limited to a very small fried pastry and then a tajine and couscous mostly vegetable dish with a few pieces of stray meat.  All that could have been bought for a quarter the price at a place down the road.  Very disappointed eaters were seen leaving the place with comments such as 'if the food had at least been tasty then it might have been just a little more worth it!'  I wasn't there but can sympathize totally having been to their venues and seen the grade of food do a nose dive.  My last one (although plenty for seconds and thirds) tasted of nothing.  Was that possible?  Even McDonalds tastes of something!  I didn't bother to take a second helping and left most of my first to contend myself with the salad.  These venues need new blood or at least someone to make sure the quality matches the price otherwise no one will come.

It seems Jash is not far behind in terrible cuisine these days.  Two reports from, what was a nice Armenian restaurant,  have now made it not a place to go to for a night out.  The decor is still lovely, and comforting and homely but the food isn't.  Overcooked, dried out and tasteless.  What happened?  Jash you used to be a tasty morsel in Cihangir and now you are joining the other tasteless restaurants that pretend to be a restaurant in Cihangir.  Get a new chef or get two as I believe you are packed most nights.  Perhaps your popularity has put too much of a strain in the kitchen and they are churning out food with no love.  You'll be empty in a short time unless you address this situation quickly.  Plus get rid of the live music.  It's too loud and no one can hear each other chat in that cozy atmosphere you have created.

Congratulations Ambassador of Internations in Istanbul.  In case you didn't know she is soon to have a baby.  A girl to add to the two boys she already has.  How does she manage organizing such a large membership and a family.  Obviously very skilled at Organization.

THE IDES OF MARCH

So the Ides of March are here and with it our first Caesar of the evening to be stabbed.  An Australian dancer living in Cihangir failed to pay her bill at a new Bistro over the weekend.  She left with a group (who did pay) and before the waiters noticed she was out the door and gone.  What did she have?  Even this I can tell.  Cajun Chicken Salad and 3 glasses of wine.  Lady go back and settle your bill!

Caesar no. 2 dumped his girlfriend in the most despicable of ways.  He took her out to dinner at 360.  He ate, he drank then told her it was over after a 3 month fairly intense relationship.  She went to the toilet to check how badly her mascara had run.  He took the clutch bag she left behind and gave it to the waiter telling them he had to go to the toilet too and would they please keep it safe for her return.  Return she did, but he didn't.  His phone was turned off and he had checked out his coat.  She will have difficulty locating him since he is currently in Italy visiting his Italian girlfriend that she knew nothing about.  Why had he dumped her?  This we can't know except that his ways don't become a gentleman.

Roxy club saw some pretty hot action Saturday Night.  I wasn't there so sadly missed the show (not just the stage show but the floor show).  Two girls were seen sharing a kiss early on in the evening.  One of the girls was then seen rubbing a man's manhood over his jeans.  Is she Bi? Who knows but  the girl she kissed is Gay and the man she rubbed up, is also Gay so not sure what she was doing.  Can we put it down to drink?  Another lady looking as glamorous as the stage show in a short gold lame dress was hitting back the drinks but managing to stay upright on her stilletos.  However, her perfume was apparently rank.  I am so curious as to what perfume she wore that night.  She was later seen kissing the Lesbian from earlier on.  Right against the bar.  I think the bartender was smiling.  It also appears that the two girls are already in a relationship.  Meanwhile, others were at it, another lady kissed a rather stunning black lady.  We are not sure as to the black lady's choice of bed partner but the other one is definitely straight but very drunk.

FEBRUARY/MARCH - GIRLIE FUED

When you see me squeezing fruit, be sure to be particularly aware that what I am about to tell you is 'Juicy'.

Rumor has it there is a girlie feud going on in the social networking group Internations.  I say 'girlie' feud but that's under dispute too.  On one side there stands two blondes (natural or dyed - these days it's hard to tell).  On the other side...whoops stands another blond (definitely dyed).  However, this one's gender is in question as is 'his/her origins.  I was taught a long time ago that when you base yourself in a new country you get the chance to rewrite history, you get a chance to reinvent yourself. Seems the disputed 'girlie' has done just that (but that's another one for the gossip columns).  It appears that one of these ladies has been booted out of Internations for unladylike behavior. Judging by the fact that this particular lady isn't one we can assume it's the male who hasn't had enough years being a lady to know one (bless).  ( I have heard his gender discussed in depth and have been a witness to bets placed).  Details are a bit sketchy as I write about this but everyday I'm learning something of this hair-pulling mud-wrestling feud and once I have some hard evidence you will be the first to hear the truth of it here.

KHAVEDAN CIHANGIR

It appears that the owners have changed hands at Khavedan in Cihangir.  Successfully turned around by it's American Proprietress it has gone for a small fortune.  If the new owners play their cards right, keep the format then there is no reason why the most successful place in Cihangir shouldn't continue to reign supreme.  However, neighbors cause many problems to the making of a small fortune.  Jealousy runs rife and no one likes a success unless it is you.  No one? At least most people.  Those who have long lived beside, in and around Khavedan do have cause to be somewhat annoyed especially during the weekends and on summer evenings.  The noise is noticeable two streets away. However, many of the complaints have come from those that have recently moved into flats near by.  Why?  Why even rent or buy beside a bar in the party village of Istanbul?  Half these people probably used to frequent the joint anyway.  Cihangir is no place for early sleepers!

22nd March 2011

Some regulars have been complaining about Khavedan's new management team.  To them it appears that the food isn't as good, the quality has deteriorated, the staff aren't as friendly and the service sucks.  True or not?  I find this a little hard to believe since the new owners have been smart enough to keep the kitchen staff, the menu, the waiters, the managers, the format and the atmosphere unchanged.  Their happy hour continues every Tuesday with beer and wine at a discount and the music is as least kept to a minimum.  Although interestingly last night I went past at eleven to note that the advertised DJ wasn't DJ-ing.  No idea what the reason could be as I forgot to ask my source this morning.  However, the place was not as packed as it had been on previous Tuesdays which might have something to do with the new management or it just may be there were other things on offer that night.  However, I fear that the rumor may get around that quality has changed at Kahvedan.  If it is true they only need to get one thing wrong to lose a customer forever.  However, it could well be that people don't like change and see change as a negative thing and therefore think there has been a downslide where in fact that is not the case.  Talk to me new owner and give me your insight.  

MARCH - BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH

13 March 2011

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.....

Some people never sleep.  Info is coming in thick and fast from the parties that dotted this city over the weekend.  So many I can't keep up with the gossip.  What interests me is how someone can be in two places at once but apparently it's possible as some of the gossip that has come in places the same person in two separate venues.

Back to the girlie feud.  I now have the full story and here is the condensed version.  A food group was started by a Texan lady (no longer here) which was helped along by the gal/guy of questionable origin.  They fought, they made up, they fought.  The gal/guy continued the group with one of the questionable blondes and wasn't very generous with her except in snide remarks and bullying.  The organization asked the gal/guy to issue a public apology.  It was a piss weak one and he got booted out.  The questionable blonde teamed up with a more questionable blonde and 'girl power' ensued and they got the backing of the organization.  Their new group went off to a roaring start this weekend as did the gal/guy of questionable origin's and now questionable behavior.  He got back into the Organization through the back door, posting on the forum his group under a proxy.  Is the proxy for real?  Is it the gal/guy of questionable origins?  The fact that the proxy's name is somewhat reminiscent to a '50's movie star might lead some to believe that he doesn't really exist but is the gal/guys alter ego (since he is known for being a drama queen).

All will be revealed as I spend my Sunday checking facts and rumors of what went on this weekend.  Prepare yourselves for a written IDES OF MARCH with some character assassination  due to take place.

JUICY - FANTASIES

4th March 2011

Fantasies!  Careful ladies.  Out there today are a couple of ladies who deeply regret fulfilling their fantasies.  Worse for one who's fantasy was not really hers but her boyfriend's! 

Him:  Always wanted to have a threesome.  Two women and me.

Her:  I love you so I'll do it!

Mistake - Love dies celluloid takes longer to erase.

Yes, you've guessed it.  The relationship is over.  Not that this made it happen or indeed, it seems cemented it.  She is terrified someone will come across the videotape of the show!  Would the high profile bank understand fantasies fueled by drink and drugs? Would it understand that these are also executive games? Will the wife of the man involved find the tape and use it in her divorce?  Let's hope he hid it well.  Even better, let's hope he destroyed it.

Ahhh film.  It comes in many forms and is in many places.  Another lady has a perchance for car park copulation. It has been said she has frequented just about every multistory car park in the city with a variety of young boys. Do they ever question the reason why it is always in a car?  Boys will be boys and they are lucky to get it where ever.  However, and I  have seen footage  but can't say how, since it would incriminate me, of the said lady getting into the car in the car park of a well known hotel and bouncing on the passenger seat.  You'd have thought with all this past expertise she would know to park no where near security cameras.  Who'd have thought when I last clinked glasses with her at a gallery opening that I would now be offering her the tape. Email me your contact details and I'll send it round.  Price?  None what so ever.  It was fun watching!

There is a third fantasy but this lady is smart.  Perhaps because she's English?  Or maybe she has learned from painful experience.  She likes to video herself making love with her camera phone.  She then sits in her car outside the building watching the replay.  Then erases it.  Why?  Kids and husband come to mind.  They don't go well with extra marital affairs.

MARCH POSTING - THE BCC

The BCC (British Community Council) are due to meet for their Annual General Meeting.  I've heard numbers are hard to pull in for this and certain attendances are needed for motions to be carried.  This time the invite comes with a large caption (in Bold) enticing British Passport Holders to attend with the promise of alcohol.  Given the British inability to throw a party that isn't cheap we can assume it will once again serve corked wine and if we are lucky crisps.  Naturally bottles will be limited so about a glass and a half is as far as it goes.  Trust me you don't want more unless you bought salad and needed a vinaigrette dressing.

The British need to take lessons from the Dutch and the American Consulates.  Certainly they need to organize some decent catering.